First born

So our first born, baby M, the light of my life, our little soldier has grown from strength to strength since we were told at our 20 week scan that he had a small lower jaw which could be part of something bigger and could cause problems at birth and/or later in life.

When he was born there were many people waiting for him to struggle right from the beginning, alhamdulillah he showed them just what he was made of and hes been doing that every since. He didnt need help to breathe, they put him on me and he lifted his head up and looked straight at me before he was took away for 'help' that he never needed. I will never forget that look from him, he was telling me "Mama, Im fine. Im here, we're going to be ok" It was while he was away from me that they found he also had a cleft palate but I was only told about that when hubby came back from seeing him settle down at the intensive care baby unit with a doctor a good few hours after his birth.

The next day a cleft nurse came to see us and that was when our journey truly began and Pierre Robin Sequence was uttered. There was lots of paperwork given to us, we were taught so many things at the hospital, things we should have been able to learn ourselves but they felt we needed to know while we were there. There were lists after lists after lists. Checklists of what to do if his oxygen levels fell, things to try if he cried out, things to do when changing his feeding tube, what to make sure I had when visiting him for those first 3 weeks while he was still in hospital and I was going to the hospital on my own.

Things have definitely been a test but I try to remember always that Allah tests those he loves, even through the tears and the questions I always try to remember this. It doesnt make things easier or take away that feeling sometimes but eventually it gets there.